« Avvo In Colorado and Oregon Now | Home | About Your Posture: Looks Like Mom Was Wrong, After All … »
Inspired Solo Rule #100: Ask For Help When You Need It
By Sheryl | May 12, 2008
Today marks the first in a new series — yay, you know me and series! They really appeal to my inner left-brained-person. (I’d normally describe myself as more creative than logical, but I admit to a geeky love of outliners and pencil sharpeners.)
This series is called “Inspired Solo Rules.” Over the course of — well, frankly, I haven’t decided how long — I’m going to count down the top 100 rules for being an Inspired Solo. It might be one a day, in which case we’ll wrap up just about the time the new TIS is ready to disrobe (ooh, naughty) and debut its made-over self to the world. Or it might be one a week, in which case we’ll be hitting number one about the time my kid hits puberty. Whatevs, as the kids would say.
Inspired Solo Rule #100: Ask for help when you need it
Following on that whole “we’re only human” meme from this post last week comes the pesky corollary of “we all need help on occasion from our brother & sister human beings.” I know: not a lot of fun to realize your own fallibility, is it?
So much is it “not fun” that most of us go to extreme lengths to avoid asking for that help, even when all those around us are thinking, “Are you CRAZY?! There’s NO WAY I would go it alone in that circumstance!” Don’t let us fool you, though: we’d TOTALLY do the same thing. It’s in our nature.
Solos in particular, being the “I can do it MYSELF” entrepreneurially-minded folks we tend to be, are prone to steadfastly and — OK, I’ll say it — sometimes foolishly clinging to the desperate belief that help is not needed.
But sometimes, we’re wrong. Sometimes, we need a helping hand. As solos, as business owners, as the CEOs of My Law Office, Inc., we are being derelict in our duties if we fail to recognize this and act upon it.
What Happened to Corvida When the Winds Blew Hard and Made That Funny Ice Cream Cone Shape
Case in point: Corvida blogs at SheGeeks, a wonderful tech blog. Today she shared with the world the story of her weekend, which involved fleeing from a tornado bearing down on her house — like, inches away in the backyard (not like I use the phrase meaning “a few counties over and maybe kinda sorta headed in this direction”).
Corvida turned to Twitter for assistance getting her family to safety. She got it. Other individuals and groups stepped forward to help even more folks in her neighborhood. Moral of the story: It’s there for you, but you gotta ask.
Why You’re Afraid of Asking For Help
You can’t fool Auntie Sheryl. I know why you’re afraid of it.
“But then they’ll know…” Know what? Know you’re human? Know sometimes bad stuff happens to you that you hadn’t seen coming and so didn’t prepare for? Newsflash, cookies: They already know.
“But what will they think of me?” They’ll think you’re human. They’ll think, “Wow, I’m so glad I can help. I wonder if s/he’ll be supergrateful and thank me on her blog.” (Hey, they’re human themselves.)
“OK, but doesn’t this make me look … I dunno … weak?” Yes. Yes it does. Weak = human. Weak for now, because you got beat up by the vicissitudes of fate. Would you think Samuel Peter to be a weak human if he loses a fight? There’s gotta be one loser in every match, right? (Do I get points for knowing about him, even if I had to look it up on Google?)
Wisdom from an Unexpected Source
I leave you with some wisdom from that most beloved and deeply revered — nay, that classic — the best law movie of all time: My Cousin Vinny:
Mona Lisa Vito: So what’s your problem?
Vinny Gambini: My problem is, I wanted to win my first case without any help from anybody.
Mona Lisa Vito: Well, I guess that plan’s moot.
Vinny Gambini: Yeah.
Mona Lisa Vito: You know, this could be a sign of things to come. You win all your cases, but with somebody else’s help, right? You win case after case, and then afterwards you have to go up to somebody and you have to say, “thank you.” [pause] Oh my God, what a f***ing nightmare!
Topics: Solos Generally, The Legal Community |
May 12th, 2008 at 9:38 am
As a solo or freelancer, it’s so easy to get stuck in a vacuum of independence. Good advice on learning how to ask for help.
Looking forward to your site makeover when it’s ready.